whoa. january to may. it's been awhile. suprising as it is i felt a sudden urge to pour my heart out to xanga again..ya know bring back better days.

this is hard to believe, but since the last time ive written in here, we've lost 2 amazing people. becky marseglia and nick cervasio.  becky in february and nicky this month. idk what's wrong w/ our school, or if our school is even to blame but i need something to blame. im angry they would do this to us but i hafta understand why they did it. they felt like they were in a position that there was no way out of. i jst wish they understood that no situation is too hard, not to end their lives. and it's so hard, after they're gone, to see every1 that loved them so mournful. i mean there are soo many people. i wish they would have known that. or jst put a second thought into it. ive been there before, in that one impulsive moment where that's all you wanna do. ive TRIED it before. and now all i can say is thank god i didnt come through w/ it. b/c now after seeing all this has put the ppl i love through, i would never do it. i care too much about all these people then to hurt them like that, cuz even though most of the time it doesnt feel like it, i know they truly love me.

other than that whole mess, my uncle died this past weekend, i jst found out yesterday. whoa. this year has most def been a tragic one. it's hard to get the thought of death out of your head when it's surrounding you everywhere. my mom hasnt seen him in years and then receives a call that he's dead? i wonder how she feels...

so we're off mon, tues and weds of this week. that's pretty sweet. mon and weds for graduation project presentations and tuesday for election day. i present my project weds morning at 9am and im pretty much screwed beyond belief. that's why im up at 9:00 this morning cuz im supposed to be working on it but yea im writing in this thing instead haha. so yea i have the worse cold ever. it's terrible. ive never felt this sick in my life  and ive had it for like week but jst yesterday it's been really, really bad. friday of this weekend i went up to penn state w/ the fam and visited my brother and went to his graduation then on the way home we visited rosemont colleges. im def contemplating between those 2 schools, haha or i suppose whichever i get in to right?   saturday i had work till 3 then jst hung out w/ timmy. and sunday i had training at rite aid (since im quitting quiznos) till 11:30 then work at quiznos from 12-6 but sunday is when i was feeling really sick so i went home early on sunday. 

everything's going awesome w/ timmy. he's seriously an awesome guy. he's always there for me and so supportive. i love him w/ all my heart  june 3rd will be 9 months. wooo hooooooo.

alright well i actually better go and work on this project or im not gunna graduate haha peace out nukkkkkkas

RIP Nick Cervasio 6/1/88-5/6/05

RIP Becky Marseglia 5/1/88 - 2/9/05

This world was never meant for someone as beautiful as you, Only the good die young.

Loving and missing you guys

Currently Playing Stories & Alibis By Matchbook Romance see related

-:-Favorites-:-
((Color)) PINK
((Number)) 4 and 14
((Animal)) kittens, puppies, hamsters, etc haha
((Vehicle)) umm idk dude as long as it gets you where you're going im not one to care very much
((Flower)) roses are my fave no matter what color
((Scent)) heavenly angel by victoria secret 
((Drinks)) water and pina colada martinis
((Soda)) I don’t like soda
((Book)) idk ive read many books soo idk which one i liked best haha
((Band)) taking the lead
((Song)) I Caught Your Eyes by Tim Iby

-:- Do you…-:-
((Color your hair?)) never have and never will
((Twirl your hair?)) sometimes? haha
((Have tattoos?))  not yet but oo i want one lol
((Have Piercings?)) yea in my ear and my belly button and I used to have my nose but i took it out...
((Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both?)) yea boo...tim iby rocks my socks 9/3/04
((Cheat on tests/homework?)) who doesent?
((Drink/Smoke?)) yes i partake in both activities….
((Like roller coasters?)) omg I love them
((Wish you could live somewhere else?))  holy fuck yesss i cant wait to get away
((Want more piercings?)) yes
((Like cleaning?)) only when im pissed haha...weird i know
((Write in cursive or print?)) print .. idk how to write in cursive :(
((Sweat a lot?)) no? lol i mean i dnt think so
((Own a web cam?)) well my digi cam but not a web cam, i think im getting one though 
((Know how to drive?)) i know how to but im not legally able to yet haha
((Diet?)) soemtimes when i feel fat lol
((Own a cell phone?)) yuppp
((Ever get off the damn computer?)) i never used to but latley i havent been really pro-comp...

-:-Have you ever...-:-
((Gotten a speeding ticket?)) not  yet lol
((Been in a wreck?)) not yet
((Been arrested?)) once again not yet lol
((Been in a fist fight?)) no that's really flippin gay haha
((Kicked someone in the nuts?)) haha yea
((Stolen anything?)) yea
((Held a gun?)) no im afraid to lol
((Drank?)) uh huhhh

((Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name?)) who hasnt been lol
((Considered a life of crime?)) noo??
((Considered being a hooker?)) cant say that i have
((Cheated on someone?)) .. yes..but im not w/ that.
((Cried over a girl?)) yesss
((Cried over a boy?)) yea but never again
((Lied to someone?)) too many times
((Been in love?)) yea and i am right now
((Fallen for your best friend?)) probably when i was younger haha but i know they've fallen for me and im in love w/ my best friend now…
((Made out with JUST a friend?)) yea im sure i have
((Been rejected?)) yea but idk why im hot lol
((Been in lust?)) lol oh yess
((Used someone?)) umm..
((Been used?)) well every1 has but i havent known about it 
((Been cheated on?)) not that i know of
((Been kissed?)) yupp
((Experimented with homosexuality?)) yes

((Current mood)) very happy..im on the tele w/ the love of my life, what could be better?
((Current taste)) hot choc and coffee
((Current hair)) blonde.. like always!
((Current thing I ought to be doing)) hah homework… yeh I should get on that soon . .lol
((Current cds in stereo)) skyview for some reason? idk i was in the mellow mood haha
((Current crush)) Timothy Iby..we're gunna get married <33 
((Current job)) movie theater..hell

-:-The last time...-:-
((Last book you read)) brighton book memoirs..haha idk conrad sucks dick
((Last movie you saw)) in the theater, the darkness but that was w/ tim haha so yea didnt see it, it sucked anyway..and at home, that thing you do
((Last thing you ate)) white rice
((Last person you talked to on the phone)) im on it right now w/ timmy but before him it was laur who was bored at work hah

-:- Do you...-:-
((Do drugs?)) i only smoke marijuana but that's it, im not into pills and acid and schrooms and shit..weed's herbal and im def a strong believer in it...
((Have a dream that keeps coming back?)) nahh
((Play an instrument?)) no i used to play the violin but i quit, i wish i hadnt though
((Believe there is life on other planets?)) i wouldnt know
((Remember your first love?)) of course how could i forget?

((Still love him/her?)) always will...

((Read the newspaper?)) no
((Have any gay or lesbian friends?)) i wish
((Believe in miracles?)) idk maybe i guess..
((Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?)) no but i do believe you can keep a relationship forever..

((Consider yourself tolerant of others?)) sometimes but if they really piss me off it's go time mwaha
((Consider love a mistake?)) no everything that happens is meant to be..
((Have a favorite candy?)) skittles and starburst..anything fruity. but i love all candy haha
((Believe in astrology?)) ..suure?? lol no not at all
((Believe in magic?)) umm .. nah not really
((Believe in God?)) .no
((Do well in school?)) yea sometimes..?
((Go to or plan to go to college)) yea penn state main
((Wear hats?)) yea usually in the winter like lil ski caps haha sometimes truckers in the summer though
((Hate yourself?)) sometimes i feel like i hate myself..but then i think i wouldnt wanna change it for the world
((Have an obsession?)) um so many haha chocolatem coffee, tanning, tim iby,  cake, candy, food, talking, cell phones, myspace, etc. haha
((Have a secret crush?)) no its not secret
((Do they know yet?)) id sure hope so haha
((collect anything?)) only memories that mean something to me
((Have a best friend?)) i have alotta good friends. my boyfriend is my utmost best friend but donielle lauren liz melissa kim kate and dev are all my grls most def..

((Close friends?)) uh huh, lots
((Like your handwriting?)) i hate my print but what am i gunna do? lol
((Care about looks?)) no way, they dnt mean a thing

<3Love life<3
((First crush)) kindergarten. bryan ridge haha
((First kiss)) bry lol
((single or attached?)) attached at the hip it seems and loving every second of it
((Ever been in love?)) i already told you i am right now

((Do you believe in love at first sight?)) i think i experienced it
((Do you believe in "the one?")) what grl doesn't..
((Describe your ideal significant other)) a guy that can make me laugh and feel needed. that's it, and i found him

-:-Juicy stuff...-:-

((Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?)) oh yea haha me, tim, kyle and lisa. yea grl!
((Are you a tease?)) aha so im told
((Shy to make the first move?)) it depends

-:-Are you a...-:-
((Wuss)) umm i can be but not usually
((Druggy)) oo yeh big time crack head?? haha
((Daydreamer)) most def
((Freak)) i sure hope so
((Dork)) i better be!
((Bitch/Asshole)) i can be..but who cares
((Brat))  not really, no
((Sarcastic)) idk…
((Angel)) i look like one
((Devil)) sometimes!
((Shy)) i can be..
((Talkative)) verrry
((Flirty)) allwayysss
((Cool)) fuck yea..im the coolest person alive .. duhh

heyyyy. alright well no1 really does the xanga think nemore..well who cares. im bringing back the old school...only cuz i can.

so yea everything's been great..pretty chill i geuss haha jst living for the weekends

it's sunday now. this weekend was good. friday night i worked till 11, then got off and went to a party. yay. then slept at laurs (snuck the guys in? oh yes haha) ..stayed there all day saturday then went over kyle's house w/ tim, matt and laur. watched ocean 11. good time. i love those kids

so im extremley sick..and i have been for uhh the last like forever..haha idk what that means but whatev.

my parents suck they've been bitching at me soo much latley. all we flippin do is fight. wtf is thattttt. ugh

alright well im out...going back to my space haha the cool thing. late <3

Yehh, so me and cati..were cool and we got bored so heres some random picturesss.  gotta love it

Me being cool, cati talking to her loverrr

cati's loverr..

aww..my freaking adorable ass hamsterr..you have to love it

cati  being sexy

hello serious face?..yes

aww..and the fucking cutee pug i want but will never get..tahts enough for now..

hey. alright so stuff's been alright, can't really complain, i geuss. ive been really busy lateley haha sweet 20 hr day yesterday? yeaa lol. umm today had work from like 9-4, i got to see lb for serisouly like 2 mins. and got to stand in line at chik-fil-a for my entire break and i didnt even get food cuz i had to run back to work or i woulda been late..awesome. haha

this past weeks been ehh. i never talk to any1 nemore. i miss everybody more than i can explain. donielle, melissa, kim, davelar, kate, laur, liz. jst every1. it blows. ive been so out of it, and i really dnt even know what's been going on lol umm but yea so what to talk about..

idk why i haven't been as happy as i usually am, but i really haven't. like im not saying im not happy w/ the way things are. but i know i could be happier. idk what's missing, or if it's jst a mood cuz ive been tired and shit latley?  doni's the only one ive talked to about this haha so she knows the deal..and she knows the one thing i haven't been as happy as usual w/..but yea. it's weird.

so christmas is almost here, 1 week left. ugh. i should be excited right? yea well im not. it feels like it's here too quickly. i dnt even remember halloween and now it's like bam christmas, new years, easter, summer. omg. lol it's jst so fast and it feels like i dnt truly get to enjoy anything when it goes by so quickly ya know? im def not in the christmas spirit, not like i used to be around this time. i havent finished shopping, havent wrapped any presents, haven't even thought about it. i look around my house and like all the decorations feel out of place to me.

yea but it's a saturday night and im sitting at home updating xanga. what's wrong w/ that picture? yea. im grounded from the party last weekened, which was totally worth it haha but yea suxs im not out. on the other hand i really did need some rest, so it's better i didnt have the stress of going to another kegger w/ tim and getting in trouble again haha yea he's a douche..lol

alright well i have tons of hw and i know im not gunna start it till tomorrow night but im gunna make myself sound like an overachiever and say im going to work on hdub haha later on <3